“The greatest pain that love can cause,
Is loving someone who can never be yours”
I remember one of the worst phases of growing up was having feelings and not being able to express them. Its only now that I realise it wasn’t just my problem, most of the teenagers go through it. Spending time with someone, having fun, liking that person, loving him/ her but safely guarding all the feelings inside- sounds familiar? Yes, we do it all the time.
When love is not reciprocated, is it love after all? Or is it some illusion of love you have been nesting in your heart? One of the reasons we fail to attain love is that we never express, the reason being: the fear of getting rejected. We tend to think we are not good enough for the other person. But what we fail to realise is do we even know what is ‘good enough’?
There is also another interesting observation. Certain people have a tendency to develop affection only for those who they know are not likely to respond to their feelings: they love this ‘wild-goose-chase’ and relish in the resultant misery. Many people go as far as describing the one-sided affair as the ‘purest’ form of love when you just love someone without expecting anything in return.
Love, when not returned or the object of your affection being unattainable, may cause a great amount of suffering. You are forced to think where did you go wrong after all? This can affect your perception about people in general. You may hallucinate about events which are never going to happen for real or worse, you may start seeing the world through the eyes of a pessimist – “Love isn’t made for all, and I am one such person”. And finally when the reality strikes, you may think of yourself as a fool to harbour those feelings when there was nothing going on.
This breaking of delusion often bears serious consequences like loss of self-esteem. So how do you proceed with things? Simple, gather your courage and just strike a conversation. Get to know the person better: for all you know he/she may not be even your. Do not leave room for doubts. Give him/her proper time and space and then express your feelings. I personally believe accepting defeat even before the battle is fought is a sign of the losers. After all, in the matter of something as important as love, the least you can do is give it an honest shot.