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Married People And Their Dark Secrets



Marriage is supposed to be one of the most eternal and sacred bonds. When 2 people get married, they commit themselves to a lifetime to togetherness. They vow to be love each other for better or for worse, and to be there for each other through sickness and in health. They promise eternal faith and loyalty, and to keep each other happy forever.

But things change. Most newlyweds are madly in love. Their face glows every time at the mention of their spouse, and they proudly display their marital status. But as time goes, the charm fades, and real life sets in. Couples fight, have disagreements on almost everything. They slowly learn to cope and adjust with each other. Some of them, who have adjusting natures which are complementary to each other, learn to cope, find happiness and comfort in each other.

These days, meeting new people has become very easy. The rules have changed, and gender equations have changed. People are no longer conservative and secretive as they used to be. They do whatever they like boldly in the open. Thus, the number of extra marital affairs has steadily risen. Many married people stray from their spouses, and have affairs. The affairs could be with friends, colleagues or sub ordinates.

But what causes people to break their vows? What makes them give up what they had once thought was sacred? Some people, who meet old flames after a long time, find the combination of old chemistry and present boredom or routine inflammatory. Some others who meet new people, get attracted to them, and have affairs.

The question here is, is it just plain boredom and unhappiness that makes people stray? Many people are of the view that a person can generally not be happy with just one person. They need variety in life, and affairs help them feel rejuvenated. There are many arguments to this – many people will say that they have known couples who have lived with each other for years without straying even once.

But have these couples ever had the opportunity? To approach someone when you are single and unmarried is easy. It is very difficult however, to do so when you are married. Questions will be asked, doubts will be raised on your character. And someone will inevitably tell your spouse. But what if people get an opportunity to stray? Would they go for it? It is highly relative. But most people would go for it. Sexual needs are one of the most basic instincts in a human being. To suppress them, is very difficult and often a herculean task. It would take a great amount of resistance and a herculean effort to resist. Most people don’t have that strength. They succumb. And this is what leads to even the most happily married person have a one-night stand. They way they react later, is again totally dependent on the person. Some people continue with it, discretely. Others feel guilty and ashamed, and admit their sins to their spouses. Some feel guilty, but decide to just forget about it.

The only thing a person must really think, before having an affair is whether he or she will be able to bear the consequences of their actions. Most affairs start with – “What my spouse does not know will not hurt them. And they will never know”. But the spouse always comes to know. Extra marital affairs rarely can remain locked secrets for ever. And when the can of worms opens, it starts hurting everybody around them. Parents feel sad and shocked. The spouse feels betrayed, and depressed. They start questioning themselves about their own characters. Many turn violent and upset. Some feel humiliated and withdraw from society – they feel deep inside that they were inadequate in bed. In most cases, an ugly divorce happens. If the couple has children, they too get hurt. Society treats you like a plague that has to be avoided. These are terrible things to happen, and can change your life forever. Just because of that wrong decision you made – those basic instincts that you were unable to suppress.

About Anindita Chatterjee

Career and Education: I am currently PGDM 2nd year student (operations) from K J Somaiya Institute of Management Studies and research, Mumbai. I had a prior work experience of almost 2 years at Verizon Data Services India, Hyderabad, where I served as a server administrator. My work involved troubleshooting all kinds of OS and Hardware problems with Windows 2003 servers. My graduation consists of BE in IT from CBIT, Hyderabad. Social: Born in Mumbai to Bengali parents, raised in Hyderabad, studying now in Mumbai, I am pretty much the PAN Indian. I love making friends and meeting new people, although I wouldn’t really call myself a social butterfly. I love writing, and am a voracious reader – be it fiction or non-fiction. I think that one of the biggest comforts in life is being able to curl up on the couch with a great, exciting new book after a day’s work. I also enjoy all kinds of music, and I am a complete movie buff. I realise that there are grey areas in most issues, but I do call a spade a spade, when it’s glaringly obvious. I believe in God, but I’m not religious. I feel that it’s important to focus on the purpose rather than the medium used to achieve the purpose.

One comment

  1. I feel that its okay to do as you please as long as you are single. Once you make a commitment you must stick to it- if you feel that monogamy is not your style then you should stay away from the institution of marriage. If you fall out of love, the option of a separation is always available.

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