They move around as if the entire world’s burden rests on their tired shoulders. Their acidic remarks and sarcasm scorch the toughest nut and freeze the coolest dude. They hate everything and everyone. They are constantly grumpy, tired and busy. They glower and glare at the rest of the world. They are the angry, angry people of the society. We may love them. We may hate them. But since we need them, we cannot ignore them. They are our friends, family, colleagues and associates.
What causes anger?
There are many reasons why some people are so very angry all the time. Some people cannot cope well with stress. They are constantly overworked, and are thus tired. Some people react this way because of health problems like high blood pressure or high blood sugar levels. Their brain refuses to accept any more compromises, and thus, at the slightest provocation they lash out. Sometimes, people react this way due to mood disorders. They get insanely angry for the smallest of issues, and get extremely aggressive. Aggression is, in some rare cases a psychological disorder that may need immediate attention. And some people do it just because they feel it makes them look important. They may not really feel angry, but its their dominant natures that make them aggressive towards anyone who contradicts them. Such people are the unmanageable cases. Their egos are their own worst enemies, and such people cannot be reasoned with.
But let us talk about us regular people, who don’t have any borderline aggressive disorders or ego issues. Why do we get angry and react aggressively? Why do we end up behaving in a way that hurts the people we love the most? And why cannot we control those insane, mad impulses that make us behave like maniacs?
Anger – result of stress
Stress is one of the main reasons. Usually, we get stressed due to some reason that we cannot express. As a result, our brain gets fuddled and hazy. We feel that the entire world is out to get us, just because someone else has it in for us, and has burdened us in some way. Thus we feel irritated and upset. We feel all alone, because we feel that we can’t share our problems with anyone. Thus, we lash out at the next person we meet for the silliest reasons. It’s a basic instinct, an instantaneous event – that makes us lose control. We vent out all our frustration by shouting or even getting physically violent.
But the aftermath isn’t pretty. After we have vented out, and our turbulent brain calms down, we realise the chaos that we have caused. We regret it, and end up hating ourselves more. We blame the person or the situation that had caused our dark mood, and this makes us feel more angry and restless. Thus, it’s a vicious cycle.
Anger management is one of the most important aspects of life. Road rage displayed by Indian drivers shock foreigners. Thus, we find that many IT companies and BPOs are insisting that their cab drivers take an anger management class. It is also being contemplated to give similar classes to drivers of trucks, auto rickshaws, and so on.
We all need ways to vent out our frustrations. If you are feeling stressed due to some situation in your life, do something that will help you vent out. It could be as simple as standing on the terrace and yelling loudly. It could be something much calmer- like listening to some soft music. It could be a hobby like kick boxing or adventure sports. Yoga and meditation is one of the best ways of being able to manage anger. It helps you control your emotions. You could even try hitting the gym – it really helps, and it keeps you fit too. If you are too busy to do any of these things, just stop for a minute, and take a couple of deep breaths. Stand out on a veranda, or outside in the fresh air. Think about more pleasant things for a while. This is also a very good way of calming down. Most importantly, until you have calmed down, don’t talk to anyone, in any way. Someone had rightly said once – “Don’t make any promises when you are happy, and don’t make any decisions when you are angry”. Think about what would happen if you gave in to your anger. People would get hurt, and you would never get what you want anyway. Managing anger isn’t easy. It requires a lot of self control. But with continued practice, you will definitely be able to master your emotions.